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Pain! And less pain. [Jan. 13th, 2007|10:40 pm]
I'm going to be detoxing for the next couple days. I'm swinging from fever to chills, feeling high to feeling miserable, greedily thirsty to nauseated everywhere. A friend with amazing intuition and healer-training spent three hours today clearing blocked energy. It was probably mostly fairly light rubbing, except that it felt often like an anvil balanced on an egg pressing down on me. But if you've given me a massage, you've seen me react this way. Surprisingly, maybe unsurprisingly, my heart area was the most blocked. Pulling my shoulders inward -> shoulder pain -> blocking circulation in my arms -> wrist pain and freezing hands. For a long time I've described feeling disconnected to my back, separate from it somehow (except when it's in pain.) And now I feel thicker, I feel like it's glued on to me. Soon I might feel like it's part of me. Amazing how the parts of my body which have undergone the most trauma - legs, arms, heart, and back - the parts I've hated for their betrayal and wanted to disown, were the parts that were leaving me. Why should they stay? Or that my desire for invisibility has left me completely unable to recognize what was going on with me until the feeling was so intense that I was whimpering, shaking, and occasionally yelling and swearing. I'd say that I've never been in as much pain as today, but maybe I have. If this was all in me then I've been experiencing this daily, just in more subtle ways. Body trauma. I didn't recognize. I didn't acknowledge. I didn't think bodies were like minds, that they'd break under silence.

[User Picture]From: greenchik
2007-03-10 10:32 pm (UTC)

Привет из Москвы!

Hey =)
Sorry for writing here, i dont have your email.
Your Russian is soooo good! Anyway, if you need practice - just drop a line on anvaerae@gmail.com.
PS You can write "вы", instead of "Вы", because "Вы" is formal and lj doesn't look like formal connections =)
PPS If i was you i'd write "ты" :>
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